The Joke |
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How Business Works. 1) The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.
2) Always take a lawyer with you, and bring another lawyer to watch him.
3) Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
4) The higher the "higher-ups" are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.
5) If you hit two keys on the keyboard, the one you don't want hits the screen.
6) Bad sector disk errors invariably occur only after you've done several hours of work without performing a backup.
7) The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.
8) The more time you spend in reporting on what you're doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you're doing.
9) All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.
10) In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's going on. This person will soon be fired.
11) In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
12) An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory. |
