Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #857


Sealant Team 6		           Meet the sales crew from Polywater's Electrical Division, known covertly as "Sealant Team 6." From left to right in the back row are the outside sales "Sealantologists": Wade LeVander, Jake Jonnes, and Jeff Ericson ... all competently led by veteran squad leader, Tom Fredericks (aka, the "Sealantalai Lama").

And the Bond Girls ain't got nothing on our ladies in the front row, Lea Stephenson and Sharon Hindahl. We call 'em the "BonDuit Girls." Lea and Sharon handle all the inside sales functions, and both have risen to the rank of "Cleanician."

Each of these elite individuals is proficient in the application and marketing of every brand of Polywater sealant and adhesive for the electrical markets, including: Each team member is also trained in the weaponry of sealantology to a high degree of mastery. Take new mother Lea Stephenson for example; she can break down, clean, reassemble, and load a TOOL-250--and clear a jammed MXR-30T-10 nozzle--faster than she can change a dirty diaper. Blindfolded.


The Joke		                               From the Justin Bieber Roast.   1) "Justin, you are the King Joffrey of Pop." --Jeffrey Ross 2) "All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time." --Natasha Legerro 3) "Justin wants to be black so bad he's actually seen Kevin Hart's movies in theaters." --Ludacris 4) "He's Justin Bieber's favorite comic, which is why he has 'duh' in the middle of his name." --Kevin Hart, introducing Chris D'Elia 5) "What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours." --Justin Bieber 6) "Bieber has 10 million fans ... most are in middle schools, or standing at least 500 feet away from one." --Kevin Hart 7) "Justin's fans are called "Beliebers" ... because it's politically incorrect to use the word "retards." --Natasha Legerro 8) "A lot of people are upset that Justin hasn't won a Grammy. There's Martha Stewart. She can be your grammy." --Jeff Ross 9) "Justin, I don't like your music. I think it's bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy." --Hannibal Buress 10) "Selena Gomez couldn't be here tonight. Just because she didn't want to be here." --Kevin Hart 11) "Jeff Ross, you're the only person on this dais making 95% of your yearly income tonight." --Hannibal Buress 12) "Justin as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn't rank that high. And he uses your music to torture people." --Shaquille O'Neal 13) "Chris D'Elia is here. He's Justin's favorite comedian. Wow. What an endorsement. That's like being Shaq's favorite poet." --Jeffrey Ross

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Copyright © 2015 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 4/10/15

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, sealants, and MRO & construction chemicals.
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