The Joke |
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Top Morons of 2013.
1) AT&T fired President John Walter after 9 months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2) Oakland, CA Police spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who'd barricaded himself inside his home. After firing 10 tear gas canisters, they discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3) An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to 2 different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4) A Kansas man walked into a Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for 3 hours until police showed up.
5) LAPD had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," he shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6) A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" The 911 operator asked, "Is this her first child?" The man shouted, "No! This is her husband!"
7) A Modesto, CA man was arrested for trying to rob a bank without a weapon. He used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
8) Some new boaters in California had a problem. They couldn't seem to get their brand new 22-foot boat going. It was sluggish in every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After a frustrating hour they pulled into a marina, hoping someone could explain the problem. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working order. The engine, out-drive, and prop were all fine. So a marina worker jumped in the lake to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer! |
