Friday Fax A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance | ||
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Issue #819 |
![]() 4th of July |
Annual 4th of July message, delivered in American Polywater's research lab in Stillwater, MN: Two score and one years ago my father brought forth on this continent, a new product, conceived in ingenuity, and dedicated to the proposition that all cable pulling lubricants are not created equal. Now we are engaged in a great sales competition, testing whether that lubricant, or any lubricant so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great testing ground of that competition. We have come to dedicate a portion of this laboratory, as a final resting place for those cable samples that gave their lives that Polywater Lubricants might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this lab bench. The brave cables, energized and dead, that struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what those cables did here. It is for us the employees and agents, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which those cables here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these test cables we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of friction reduction, that we here highly resolve that these cables shall not have been stressed beyond their manufacturers' limits in vain, that this product, under UL, shall have a new birth of sales growth, and that Polywater Lubricants, made in the USA, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. |
![]() The Joke |
                              | Parable For The 4th of July. Once upon a time a boy named Sam was roughhousing in his backyard when he accidentally knocked over the outhouse. Sam was worried that he'd get into trouble, so he ran into the woods and didn't come out until after dark. When he arrived back home, his father was waiting for him. The father asked, "Son, did you knock over the outhouse this afternoon?" The boy lied, "No, Dad." The father said, "Well, let me tell you a story. When George Washington was just a boy he got a shiny new axe from his father. Excited, he tried it out on a tree, swiftly cutting it down. But as he looked at the tree with dismay, he realized it was his mother's favorite cherry tree. Just like you, he ran into the woods. When he returned, his father asked, 'George, did you cut down the cherry tree?' George answered with, 'Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did indeed chop down the tree.' Then his father said, 'Well, since you were honest with me, you are spared from punishment. I hope you've learned your lesson, though.' So," Sam's father asked again, "did you knock down the outhouse?" Sam said, "Father, I cannot tell a lie anymore. I did indeed knock down the outhouse." Sam's father then proceeded to spank him until he was red, white and blue. The boy whimpered, "But Dad, I told you the truth! Why did you spank me?" His father answered, "Because George Washington's father wasn't in the tree when he chopped it down!" |
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Copyright © 2014 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 7/3/14 |
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