Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #793


          The annual Employee Christmas Party featured a game of "Jeopardy" based on Polywater trivia. The group was divided into two teams. The "Pecker Patch" team, sponsored by Polywater UPR and led by company president John Fee, demonstrated a clear superiority in button pushing ... but answered questions like a flock of peckerwoods. Team "Sealants," led by captain Chris Jonnes, was determined to seal the deal. What they lacked in button speed was made up for in their knowledge of company lore. True to Polywater's aggressive nature, both teams went all-in for Final Jeopardy. The end result was a "Sealants" win, 7,600 to zip, zero, nada. Team "Pecker Patch" was vanquished and forced to sing a Christmas carole to the victors--which was nicely done. A good time was had by all ... other than a few who left with ruffled feathers. We share here a few of the questions and answers for your enjoyment and edification.
  1. Polyworld for 100: The native language spoken in Pascagoula, MS?
  2. Polyworld for 200: Locations of Polywater's wholly owned subsidiaries?
  3. Polyworld for 300: The number of states in Wade LeVander's eastern territory (Electrical Division)?
  4. Polyworld for 500: The country responsible for Charlie Cole's (Int'l Division) worst food poisoning?
  5. Product for 300: The top-selling product internationally in fiscal year 2013?
  6. Product for 500: FST Foam was first sold in what year?
  7. Before & After for 100: Motorsport competition requiring a vehicle to drag a heavy sled the farthest: Program for cable pulling tension calculation and conduit system design.
  8. Before & After for 200: Weekly email for Polywater agents: Device that transmits scanned printed materials telephonically.
  9. Polywater History for 100: Polywater founder Nelson Jonnes’s middle name.
  10. Polywater History for 200: The number of domestic production locations in Polywater’s history.
  11. Polywater History for 300: The year the factory's 5,000-gallon water tank broke and flooded the building.
  12. Polywater History for 400: The most employees have worked at Polywater with this surname.
  13. S-Words for 100: Lubricants containing this material tend to perform well in HDPE conduits.
  14. S-Words for 200: Lea Stephenson's common exclamation: “Oh,_____ balls!”
  15. S-Words for 400: This mixture of materials is poured into a mixing tank of deionized water to make Polywater A.
  16. S-Words for 500: The recent Friday Fax parody of L. Ron Hubbard’s religion.
Answer Key:   1) English or American. (not commonly known to Minnesotans) 2) Uruguay and The Netherlands. 3) 18. 4) Brazil. 5) Type HP Cleaner. 6) 1997. 7) Tractor Pull Planner. 8) Friday Fax Machine. 9) No middle name. 10) 4. 11) 1986. 12) Jonnes or Schmolke (8 each). 13) Silicone. 14) S#@* (censored for decency). 15) Slurry. 16) Sealantology.


The Joke
                              Automotive History. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97°. The Goldbergs walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately. The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent. The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, "The Goldberg Air-Conditioner", on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed. Old Henry, reputed to have been a bit anti-Semitic, was reluctant to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown. Thus, all Ford air conditioners showed, "Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max" on the controls.

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Copyright © 2014 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 1/3/14

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, sealants, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
1-(651) 430-2270 (Voice) | 1-(651) 430-3634 (Fax)
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