Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #770


Tim Schmolke
          Polywater celebrated its 25th Annual Employee Golf Outing on June 20th at Oak Glen, an executive par 29 golf course in sunny Stillwater, Minnesota. The tradition is kept alive each year by 28-year employee Tim Schmolke who, in addition to organizing the event, manages the Company's purchasing department and regulatory compliance. Tim takes his golf very seriously and enjoys dressing "properly" for the sport. This year he topped his infamous Payne Stewart outfit from a previous event by donning an authentic Scottish kilt, pictured at left. Not quite Braveheart, but ... sporting.

The outing pairs Polywater employees and supplier reps in a 9-hole best-ball tourney. Tim offered this post-game report: "This year was a big success. 43 golfers competed for team and individual prizes. Two minutes of drizzle right after the start threatened the festivities, but the clouds passed. 1st Place with a score of 25 (four under par) went to team #10, comprised of Polywater retiree Mary Lou "I Rule The Laws of Golf" Lawton and vendors Ryan "Holy Cow Can I Hit 'Em" Holte and Jim "Winning Does Not Stink" Stinchfield. The Middle-of-the-Pack award, with a score of 28 (one under par), was a two-way tie ultimately decided by a dart toss at some balloons in favor of Team 3: Tom "Mediocre Freddy" Fredericks, Dave "My Wife Rules The Laws of Golf" Lawton, Jeff "Lost Ball" Hunter, and Bob "The Sun Was In My Eyes" Henderson. Last Place with a score of 33 (four over par) went to Team 7: Charley "Never" Ames, Don "No Hit 'Em" Larson, Jack "Banana Slicer" Spillane, and John "Z's Are Always Last" Zalesky."

A separate Chip & Putt Contest resulted in a three-way tie decided by more darts tossed at balloons. Vendor Chris "Take A" Gander won this one. Even more employees joined the group for a great dinner afterwards, and many door prizes were awarded! A good time was had by all!


The Joke
                              Old People Jokes.   1) Two elderly ladies had been friends for decades. Over the years they'd shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" 2) Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."

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Copyright © 2013 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 7/19/13

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, sealants, and MRO & construction chemicals.
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