Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #653

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P7 Protein in HIV
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Heckler & Koch P7
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Type P7
          According to Wikipedia, P7 is either a protein providing nucleocapsid of Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) ... or a German 9mm semi-automatic pistol produced since 1976 by Heckler & Koch. In one of the more spectacular failures of the Internet, there is no mention on Wikipedia of a third and far more relevant usage of the nomenclature: Type P7 Multipurpose Penetrating Oil from American Polywater Corporation.

This is a travesty, for HIV is a devastating, fatal disease, and handguns--in the wrong hands--kill untold numbers of innocent people. In contrast, Polywater's P7 Penetrating Oil has never killed anyone and is, in fact, a force for good in the world. It keeps the wheels of industry turning. Suitable for all kinds of electrical and industrial uses, P7 Oil cleans dirt and grime, loosens rust and scale, and penetrates frozen parts. It is used to maintain and lubricate the equipment that advances civilization.

P7 Penetrating Oil is a multi-functional guardian of human progress. It cleans, penetrates, and lubricates to extend equipment life. It also acts as a moisture displacer and corrosion inhibitor. It drives out moisture and dries wet connections, leaving a protective film that is non-conductive.

Advantages of Type P7
  • Lubricates Moving Parts
  • Frees Stuck Parts
  • Protects Against Rust and Corrosion
  • Displaces Moisture
  • Removes Grime and Rust
  • Film is Non-Conductive
  • Harmless to Most Plastics
  • Safe on Metal, Paint, & Rubber
  • Contains No CFC's or Chlorinated Solvents
  • Silicone-Free
  • Cleans Tar, Grease, Rust, and Adhesives.
In one of the great ironies of the universe, Type P7 may be the most effective oil available for lubricating and maintaining a Heckler & Koch. And though we doubt it has ever been tried, we suspect that P7 proteins and the entire HIV virus would not do well in a Type P7 bath.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week
The Joke
                              The Old Farmer's Pond. An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit from the trees. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and with great commotion they all rushed to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned and grumbled, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

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Copyright © 2011 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 4/8/11

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
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