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The Friday Fax will soon return to imparting valuable product knowledge, however, we couldn't resist one more revealing look at the make-up of the Polywater employee base. The Christmas party featured a game called "Truth Be Told," where teams competed to guess the closest percentage of yes answers to a previously administered anonymous questionnaire. How the teams did is irrelevant; the questionnaire answers provide the insight. Following are the results, and the Editor's commentary:
- 68% double dip their potato chips -- the other 32% thank them for the flu!
- 68% have cheated on a test -- new lie-detector test: watch how they eat potato chips!
- 24% have won more than $500 in a night of gambling -- amazing what $2500 in chips, travel, and bar tabs will get you!
- 24% have fibbed on a tax return -- that's right, the bar tab is not deductible.
- 24% have kissed someone of the same sex, other than family -- ten bucks says it was the blackjack dealer.
- 76% have gone commando for a day -- time to revisit the policy manual.
- 64% lost their virginity before age 18 -- 100% of them are liars; they know exactly where their virginity went!
- 64% have been in a fist fight -- Minnesota, where the men are men and the women are too.
- 64% have had a one-night stand -- I'm thinking maybe it's all the same 64%?
- 60% have gone skinny dipping -- the other 40% wear underpants in the shower.
- 60% have flashed someone -- what a bunch of crazy exhibitionists!
- 72% pick their nose -- so what, the other 28% hire it out?
- 52% sleep in the nude -- always wear to bed what you want the firemen to see you in.
- 52% have been on TV -- shown hiding by the fire truck with their naughty bits blurred out.
- 80% believe that aliens exist -- the other 20% don't even believe Mexico exists.
- 48% have driven faster than 100 mph -- the other 52% were too drunk to remember!
- 96% drank alcohol before their 18th birthday -- I rest my case.
- 32% have secretly watched someone while they changed or showered -- Houston, we have a problem.
- 44% have cheated on a girlfriend/boyfriend -- correlating closely to the Corporate divorce rate.
- 88% have peed in the shower -- so ... we'd probably be cleaner staying dirty.
- 20% have gone more than a week without bathing -- others have come to the same conclusion.
- 48% have gone hitchhiking -- hmm, we could save some money on the travel budget.
- 36% have stolen a street sign -- I swear to Gawd, Officer, the wind blew it into my open car window.
- 36% have forgotten their mother's birthday -- after the drunken one-night stand with the fist fight and stolen sign.
- 36% have spent a night in jail -- their one phone call went to the bondsman, not to wish Mom happy birthday.
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