The Joke |
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Words to Live By. 1) Steven Seagal: Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
2) Jeff Foxworthy: The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
3) Dave Barry: If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.
4) Bob Ettinger: Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
5) Paula Poundstone: My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her to a lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
6) Conan O'Brien: A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh!!!
7) Lynda Montgomery: Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my goodness... I could be eating a slow learner!
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