Friday Fax A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance | ||
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Issue #613 |
![]() The Joke |
Jay Leno Gets Political. 1) As a result of the Times Square bomber, the Department of Homeland Security has instituted a new policy regarding the no-fly list. They're actually going to start reading it now. 2) Do you know who will be in charge of healthcare? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam. 3) A man in France was arrested today for using his car to run down a pedestrian he thought was Osama bin Laden. Even though it was a mistake, it still ranks as France's biggest military victory ever. 4) A California state senator has proposed lowering the voting age to 14. Three words for people who think this is a good idea: Governor Jessica Simpson. 5) California lawmakers are now proposing an amendment that would allow 14-year-olds a quarter vote and 16-year-olds half a vote in all state elections. How stupid is this? Don’t we have enough trouble counting whole votes? How are we gonna figure out fractions? 6) A study claims that by next year obesity will be the number one killer in America. Can you believe that? We're turning into a nation of Clinton girlfriends. 7) After failing to win a single state on Tuesday, John Edwards described his campaign as "The Little Engine That Could." And afterwards, Bush called him and said, "You're not going to believe this but I'm reading that book right now!" 8) John Edwards based his campaign on the fact that there are two Americas, one for the wealthy and one for everyone else. And after his speech, he thanked everyone else and went back to the America for the wealthy. 9) There are rumors that Cheney will be replaced, but President Bush is very loyal. He's standing by him, but I don't know how sincere that is. I understand every day, Bush buys Cheney a large cheese and pepperoni pizza. 10) A lot of people are upset and wondering why President Obama is willing to sit down with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad but not BP CEO Tony Hayward. I think Obama is afraid. Ahmadinejad only threatened to destroy the world, and Hayward is actually doing it. |
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