Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #563

APC's 4th of July message.
4th of July
          Annual 4th of July message, delivered in American Polywater's research lab in Stillwater, MN:

One score and sixteen years ago my father brought forth on this continent, a new product, conceived in ingenuity, and dedicated to the proposition that all cable pulling lubricants are not created equal.   Now we are engaged in a great sales competition, testing whether that lubricant, or any lubricant so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.   We are met on a great testing ground of that competition.   We have come to dedicate a portion of this laboratory, as a final resting place for those cable samples that gave their lives that Polywater Lubricants might live.   It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.   But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this lab bench.   The brave cables, energized and dead, that struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract.   The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what those cables did here.   It is for us the employees and agents, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which those cables here have thus far so nobly advanced.   It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these test cables we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of friction reduction, that we here highly resolve that these cables shall not have been stressed beyond their manufacturers' limits in vain, that this product, under UL, shall have a new birth of sales growth, and that Polywater Lubricants, made in the USA, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week
The Joke
                              You might be a Taliban if ...   1) You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.   2) You own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.   3) You have more wives than teeth.   4) You wipe with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."   5) You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.   6) You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.   7) You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.   8) You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.   9) You've often uttered the phrase, "I just love what you've done with your cave."   10) You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.   11) You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.   12) You have a crush on your neighbor's goat.

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Copyright © 2009 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 7/2/09

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
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