The Joke |
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Simply Home Remedies ... from a person who thinks that some people are like Slinkies (They're not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.) 1) If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2) Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3) Eliminate arguments with the wife about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink. 4) For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer. 5) A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6) For a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; you'll be afraid to cough. 7) Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you'll forget all about the toothache. 8) In life you only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move but does, use the duct tape. 9) Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 10) Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. |
