The Joke |
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BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE -- Part 2. S=Symptom, C=Cause, A=Corrective Action: 1) S = Beer is crystal clear. C = It's water! A = Somebody is trying to sober you up. Punch him. 2) S = People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup. C = You're in the ladies' room. A = Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Optional Action: Try to get phone numbers. 3) S = Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. C = You've been in a fight. A = Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. 4) S = Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. C = You've wandered into the wrong party. A = See if they have free beer. 5) S = Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk. C = You're in jail or the navy. A = Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach. 6) S = Your singing sounds distorted. C = The beer is too weak. A = Have more beer until your voice improves. 7) S = Don't remember the words to the song. C = Beer is just right. A = Play air guitar. 8) S = Friends and or family members are reaching for your car keys. C = They think you might be too drunk to drive safely. A = Punch them. Have more beer. |
