Friday Fax A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance | ||
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Issue #518 |
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Energy prices, inflation, and unemployment are up. The stock market, housing prices, and earnings are down. Doom and gloom are seemingly everywhere. So how is American Polywater doing? Just fine, thank you. With our fiscal year end recently concluded on July 31, it's a good time for a little financial check-up. Corporate sales were up smartly, with general categories of lubricants, cleaners, and sealants all at New Records. Noteworthy product gains came from Boom Wipes, Polywater CLR, PowerPatch, Type HP, Grime-Away, Polywater LZ, RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner, S-1 Hotstick Wipes, Polywater SPY, and SqueekyKleen. If we had to pick a big winner for the year, it would be BonDuit, which is now a major contributor with significant sales in all market sectors (Check your Polywater sales. Are you cashing in on this winner?). APC continues to grow profitably at a manageable, sustainable rate. Since you represent us and rely on this stability for part of your income, we thought you should know. |
![]() Peter Piper Pitches a Pint of Polywater® |
Since we know you savor the soothing and salubrious effects of sales success, we present the subsequent summary of a scintillating sales scenario (hypothetical, obviously): Customer Sally asked to see a sample of our "silica" lube. Customer Service responded, saying, "Silica is essentially sand, and inserting sand in lube would be silly. May I suggest our silicon lube?" Senior Management perceived the sound of Customer Service saying that it was silicon, not silica; whereupon he signaled his dissatisfaction by slapping the service staffer upside the skull, saying, "You simpleton, it's neither silica nor silicon; it's 'silicone.'" As some employees are slow to see, Senior Management is ceaselessly precise. Don't make the same slip-up in your silver-tongued sales circumstances. Silica, silicon, and silicone are all similar, yet with significant distinctions. Setting aside the scientific nonsense, we submit this synopsis: Silica?--think sand. Silicon?--think computer chips. Silicone?--think exciting stuff like Polywater Plus Silicone Types NB and NN ... and assorted surgical enhancements. |
![]() The Joke |
Wal-Mart Interview. A Wal-Mart manager had to hire someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of résumés he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" The first man replied, "A thought. It just pops into your head. There's no warning." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you, sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm ... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." He turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was impressed with this answer and thought he'd found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said. Turning to Bubba, the last man, he posed the same question. Bubba replied, "After hearing the other answers, it's obvious that the fastest thing known is diarrhea." The interviewer was stunned. "Oh sure," said Bubba, "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could think, blink, or turn on the light ...." Bubba is now the new greeter at Wal-Mart. |
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Copyright © 2008 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 8/15/08 |
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