Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #512

APC's 4th of July message.
4th of July
          Annual 4th of July message, delivered in American Polywater's research lab in Stillwater, MN:

One score and fifteen years ago my father brought forth on this continent, a new product, conceived in ingenuity, and dedicated to the proposition that all cable pulling lubricants are not created equal.   Now we are engaged in a great sales competition, testing whether that lubricant, or any lubricant so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.   We are met on a great testing ground of that competition.   We have come to dedicate a portion of this laboratory, as a final resting place for those cable samples that gave their lives that Polywater Lubricants might live.   It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.   But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this lab bench.   The brave cables, energized and dead, that struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract.   The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what those cables did here.   It is for us the employees and agents, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which those cables here have thus far so nobly advanced.   It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these test cables we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of friction reduction, that we here highly resolve that these cables shall not have been stressed beyond their manufacturers' limits in vain, that this product, under UL, shall have a new birth of sales growth, and that Polywater Lubricants, made in the USA, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week
The Joke
                              More Really Bad Stuff.   1 What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)   2 A backwards poet writes inverse.   3 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.   4 If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.   5 With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.   6 When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.   7 The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.   8 A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart.   9 A lot of money is tainted.   T'aint yours, and t'aint mine.   10 A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.   11 He had a photographic memory that was never developed.   12 A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large.   13 Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.   14 People who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.   15 An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.   16 Acupuncture is a jab well done.   17 Frog slogan: Time's fun when you're having flies.

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Copyright © 2008 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 7/3/08

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
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