Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #508

What makes American Polywater unique?
          Who are we? -- Part II:   What makes APC unique?   Is it our high-performance products?   Competitive pricing?   Excellent customer service?   Fast delivery?   Knowledgeable sales staff?   Yes, but the real difference is our focus on end use: We help customers install cable (or clean cable, or remove cable, etc.).   Our technical leadership is reflected in our slogan, “We Bottle Solutions.”

Proof?   Every day we offer advice to callers with installation questions.   Our lab continually tests all aspects of compatibility, performance, and on ad infinitum.   We publish free technical newsletters and inexpensive software.   We contribute “white papers” to industry associations and post our research on the web for the benefit of all--including competitors.   Our slogan should be: “We teach our competitors how to serve you better.”   Unfortunately, they're slow learners.   Can you call a competitor and ask for technical assistance in making a cable pull?   Or get technical literature on cable fill, stress cracking, friction studies, or jamming probabilities.   Forget about it.   We occasionally help customers who admit they were referred to us by a competitor.   These competitors fall into three categories:

1) We’re-just-like-Polywater:   They put goo in a bucket, sell it for half price, and pretend they know what they’re doing.   They know all the right buzz words (learned from us), and invariably wreak havoc on cables and profits before they go out of the business.   Call this the “Buyer Beware” group.

2) We’re-big-and-you’re-not:   They spend more money on their logo than their lab.   Their catalogs are as thick as a phone book.   They muscle distributors to eliminate other vendors, claiming the ability to “do it all.”   They’re like pimps; bringing distributors good business, and then beating them up when they step out of line.   Their manufacturing is often farmed out to third-party blenders with no vested interest in product quality.   Product testing and approvals are dubious or non-existent.   Can their people be experts on everything in those catalogs?

3) Merchandisers:   Not necessarily big, but savvy marketers.   Their entire focus is on distributors: rebates, display racks, counter days, logo premiums, coop advertising, dating, discounts, contests, coupons, give-aways, 2-for-1’s, etc.   Distribution is an essential component in the sales cycle--but distributors don’t pull cable.   For every rack or rebate someone gives a distributor, we help another end-user pull a cable successfully.

There is a fourth category: Ours.   We’re in it alone.   Yes, there’s overlap--we do some activities listed above, and competitors try our stuff--but we’re talking about emphasis here.   Smart competitors look at what we do, realize we’re years ahead, and wisely focus elsewhere.   Customers need to understand the difference.   Distributors must know that the pretty point-of-sale poster down aisle three won’t help the contractor who walked in with bend-radius-limitation questions.   There must be someone they can call for help.   That's who we are.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week
The Joke
                              Alternate Dictionary Definitions.   1) Coffee: The person upon whom one coughs.   2) Flabbergasted: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.   3) Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.   4) Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.   5) Willy-nilly: Impotent.   6) Negligent: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.   7) Lymph: To walk with a lisp.   8) Gargoyle: Olive-flavored mouthwash.   9) Flatulence: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.   10) Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.   11) Testicle: A humorous question on an exam.   12) Rectitude: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.   13) Pokemon: A Rastafarian proctologist.   14) Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.   15) Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.   16) Circumvent: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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Copyright © 2008 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 6/6/08

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
1-(651) 430-2270 (Voice) | 1-(651) 430-3634 (Fax)
1-(800) 328-9384 (Toll-Free US/Canada Only)