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Red lube, blue lube. Thick lube, thin lube, old lube, new lube. This one has in it little balls. From vertical this one never falls. Here’s one that to cable clings. There’s the one Jeff Ericson flings! Polywater has lubes from far to near and near to far. Say! What a lot of lubes there are. Our lube makes the customer glad. Their lube makes the customer sad. That is very, very, very bad. Why are there lubes that make them glad and sad? So many choices can drive one mad. And why can’t the competition make a better lube? Because their chemist is a boob. We have lubes for pulling in cold weather. In our cap that puts a feather. Our winter lubes have a fair price. But for their lube’s value you’ll pay thrice. Charging thrice the price for lube that won’t ice is worse than not nice--we call it vice. Why can’t lubes be free? I don’t know, go ask John Fee. We have a customer named “Bell.” We think Bell is swell. Lube to Bell is what we sell. What we sell to Bell is a swell Bell gel. One day Bell said, “I don’t like this gel. This gel works like hell.” We did not cry. We did not sigh. We went to the lab to find out why. The competition took Bell to lunch, while we sweated and toiled and learned a bunch. While we spent our money to see what works, they offered price discounts, the jerks! But still there was a problem for Bell. For a better lube they did yell. So we found out why. The gel was hard to apply. We made a lube they could pour. They tried it and wanted more. And so you now see, why we have not just one lube, but in fact more than three. We tweak them, we twist, we schmoozle them, we swish. We add colors and balls and whatever they wish. When it comes to lube choice, we don’t give them phlegm, we give them Variety--just like GM! |
