
	Friday Fax A Weekly Summary of Polywater^® News of Incredible Importance

Issue #499

Type FO™ is superior to other alcohol wipes because it is anhydrous.

Sometimes lack of water is a problem. Other times not. Take our Type FO Alcohol Wipes for example. Type FO is superior to other alcohol wipes. Why? Because it contains Anhydrous Isopropyl Alcohol. Anhydrous means that it contains no water. Isopropyl--also known as IPA--is naturally "hydroscopic," meaning it absorbs moisture from the air. There is an extra--and expensive--distilling process to produce anhydrous alcohol. That's why undistilled rubbing alcohol is so cheap; it may contain as much as 30% water! Aside from the notion that when you buy alcohol you should get what you pay for--not a bunch of expensive water--there are technical reasons to avoid watered-down isopropyl in our markets: water content is a no-no for cleaning fiber optics. Here's why. IPA is static dissuasive (that's good) but its hydroscopic nature is bad because: 1) Water requires more air/time to evaporate, slowing the drying process. 2) Water brings contaminants from the air--dust particles in water can leave streaks on the connector end-face. Type FO is the good stuff.

Inspired by the cultural trend to "pimp one's ride," APC software designers have toiled endlessly over the past year to Pimp my Pull-Planner^™. They gutted the old code and really spiffed things up with a bunch of nifty new features, throwing in everything but the hydraulic shocks. While the reality show version won't be released anytime soon, the product of their labors--the Pull-Planner 3000 Software Program--will be coming soon to a download near you. Keep in mind that this new frame-off-restoration version is only in "beta test" mode; the software is not yet commercially available. Nevertheless, we want to make you aware of this development. Feel free to talk to your factory account executive about training for you, or if you think you have a customer who may want to participate in a free evaluation of the program to help test for bugs and functionality. In the meantime, continue to promote and sell the popular Pull-Planner 2000.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week

The Joke

Political Correctness. 1) In an effort to eliminate the possibility of offending anyone, we shall no longer refer to certain rural dwellers as "hillbillies." In the future please refer to them as "Appalachian-Americans." Furthermore, when speaking to women ... 2) She is not a "babe" or a "chick." She is a "breasted American." 3) She is not "easy." She is "horizontally accessible." 4) She is not a "dumb blonde." She is a "light-haired detour off the information superhighway." 5) She has not "been around." She is a "previously enjoyed companion." 6) She does not "nag" you. She becomes "verbally repetitive" 7) She is not a "two-bit hooker." She is a "low-cost provider." Also, when speaking to men ... 8) He does not have a "beer gut." He has developed a "liquid grain storage facility." 9) He does not "get lost all the time." He "investigates alternative destinations." 10) He is not "balding." He is in "follicle regression." 11) He does not act like a "total ass." He develops a case of "rectal-cranial inversion." 12) It's not his "crack" you see hanging out of his pants. It's his "rear cleavage." Thank you for your cooperation.

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American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
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