Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #490

Polywater founder Nelson Jonnes retires.
Polywater founder Nelson Jonnes retires.
Polywater founder Nelson Jonnes retires.
Nelson Jonnes
          Nels Jonnes retires at 81.   As some long-time Polywater reps will recall and others may know from reading the Polywater History page, Polywater® was invented 35 years ago by Nelson Jonnes.   Frustrated that his many other patents were languishing with his employer and weren't receiving the attention they deserved to become huge sellers, the young research chemist struck off on his own with the Polywater patent.   American Polywater was born.   Mr. Jonnes founded his fledgling company with lofty growth goals and based it on two simple principles:
  1. Use superior chemistry to develop products that solve problems.   He believed that if we offered better molecules, a revenue stream would flow as a matter of course.
  2. Treat people fairly.   This starts with the employees, who are the heart of the organization, but extends to reps, distributors, and customers as well.
Nels had a low tolerance for liars, manipulators, bullies, and phonies.   If one happened to make into his employ, they were either converted or encouraged to move on.   The Company--now employee-owned--has evolved with this foundation to be a place where generally nice people stay a long time and work very hard.   They've created products and a reputation to be proud of.   The result has transformed the industry and advanced cable installation technology immeasurably.

Nels is an extraordinary fellow.   A relative once gave him a gift of personalized pens that read, "Nelson Jonnes: entrepreneur, author, philanthropist, orator, chairman, traveler, and teacher."   This was no joke.   The fact is, Nels is all that and more.   His life experience reads like that of a fictional superhero: science teacher, mutual fund salesman, big game hunter, chemist, world traveler, Navy sonarman, Ethiopian "ambassador", athlete, inventor, historian, geologist, musician, philosopher, certified scuba instructor, and more.   His advancing age has never been a barrier.   Last year Nels won a bronze medal in table tennis at the Senior Olympics--at age 80--and is going for the gold in 2009.   He continues to devour more books in a year than many readers do in a lifetime.   And he's still in school, now seeking a degree in grease technology.   Recently he's returned to a favorite pastime: model ship building (often from scratch!)   His latest is an ancient Greek "trireme" warship worthy of The Battle of Salamis.   All associates of American Polywater owe Nels a debt of gratitude for a fine legacy and ideals worth striving for.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week
The Joke
                              Alcohol Warnings.   Label warnings proposed by the U.S. Surgeon General:
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your undergarments.
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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Copyright © 2008 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 2/1/08

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
1-(651) 430-2270 (Voice) | 1-(651) 430-3634 (Fax)
1-(800) 328-9384 (Toll-Free US/Canada Only)