 The Joke |
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Banned from Wal-Mart. A woman who always dragged her reluctant husband to Wal-Mart learned a lesson when she received a letter. "Dear Mrs. ___, Your husband is causing commotion in our store that we cannot tolerate. We may be forced to ban you both. Our complaints against him (documented by surveillance cameras) are listed below." 1: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2): Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3) Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4) Approached an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Stat! Stat!" 5) At the Service Desk, tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6) Moved a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area. 7) Set up a tent in the camping department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department. 8) Looked into a security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 9) While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked where the antidepressants were. 10) Darted around the store suspiciously while humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11) In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" with different sizes of funnels. 12) Hid in a clothing rack and yelled at people browsing, "Pick me! Pick me!" 13) When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "Oh no! It's those voices again!" 14) Waited in a fitting room awhile and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" |