Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #460

APC's 4th of July message.
4th of July
          4th of July message, delivered in American Polywater's research lab in Stillwater, MN:

One score and fourteen years ago my father brought forth on this continent, a new product, conceived in ingenuity, and dedicated to the proposition that all cable pulling lubricants are not created equal.   Now we are engaged in a great sales competition, testing whether that lubricant, or any lubricant so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.   We are met on a great testing ground of that competition.   We have come to dedicate a portion of this laboratory, as a final resting place for those cable samples that gave their lives that Polywater Lubricants might live.   It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.   But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this lab bench.   The brave cables, energized and dead, that struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract.   The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what those cables did here.   It is for us the employees and agents, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which those cables here have thus far so nobly advanced.   It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these test cables we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of friction reduction, that we here highly resolve that these cables shall not have been stressed beyond their manufacturers' limits in vain, that this product, under UL, shall have a new birth of sales growth, and that Polywater Lubricants, made in the USA, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week
The Joke
                              Shorts.   1) She was at the beauty shop for two hours.   That was only for the estimate.   She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.   Then the mud fell off.   2) The doctor gave a man six months to live.   The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.   3) It was mealtime during a commercial flight.   "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked a man.   "What are my choices?" he said.   "Yes or no," she replied.   4) The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.   "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.   The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."   When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.   5) The Federal government has a new citizenship test.   They said the old immigration test form was too outdated.   Apparently it was in English.   6) After an electrician finished repairing some faulty wiring in an attorney's home he handed him the bill. "Five hundred dollars!   For an hour's work?" cried the attorney, "That's ridiculous!   Why, I'm an attorney and I don't make that much."   The electrician said, "That's funny, when I was an attorney, I didn't either!"   7) An attorney ran over to the office of his client. "I can't believe it!" he said angrily, "You sent a case of Dom Perignon to the judge in your case?   That judge is as straight as an arrow.   Now we're certain to lose this case!"   The client said, "Relax, I sent it in the prosecutor's name."

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Copyright © 2007 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 7/6/07

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
1-(651) 430-2270 (Voice) | 1-(651) 430-3634 (Fax)
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