
	Friday Fax A Weekly Summary of Polywater^® News of Incredible Importance

Issue #454

Mission accomplished for agency inside salespeople on Polywater® SPY Lube.

Sharon Hindahl and Lea Moore have debriefed APC's Intelligence Office on the results of their Polywater® SPY Lube "Secret Code Incentive" for agency inside salespeople. Minutes of the top-secret meeting were leaked to this reporter, and can be summarized thusly: Mission Accomplished. Apparently, response to the program was good. All participants had to do was call the factory after locating the secret code embedded in the new SPY Lube price sheet sent out in March. Each caller with the correct code (which, by the way, didn't require the I.Q. of a Blofeld or Dr. No to decipher) had their name entered in a drawing to win one of five James Bond Agent 007 Casino Royale DVD and popcorn packages. The perspicacious inside operatives were: Cindy Moore of Syn-Tech (LA), Marilyn Miller of CBM (MO), Gary Hall of GHMR (AR), Chris McGirt of Electric Sales Professionals (AZ), and Marc Cole of George E. Anderson (South TX). Sharon and Lea laud their luck and sagacity.

FST™ Foam Duct Sealant lab report on water sealing.

Foam Sealant Testing

APC's website was updated to include a new FST™ Lab Report about the foam duct sealant's ability to contain water. This is very important for customers trying to keep water from flowing through ducts. The key point to remember is that FST is far superior to inexpensive one-part aerosol foams in blocking water. The reason is that FST is a 99% closed-cell foam, while the aerosols are typically 80% (making them open-cell foams). What is a "cell"? Each foam bubble creates a cell. If too many bubbles burst as the foam cures, you're left with open cells, creating interstices through which water can pass. The picture at left shows such a failure, as colored water leaks through an open-cell aerosol foam from a hardware store. Consider the analogy of a submarine. When the captain accidentally bumps a reef and pokes a hole in the hull, he hopes to close all the watertight doors in time to prevent water from filling each compartment--or cell--and sinking the vessel. Foam duct plugs are like that--and FST keeps the doors closed. Using the new FST lab report won't improve your seamanship, but may help earn you the vaunted title of "Admiral of Foam Sealant Sales" ... which would look good on your résumé.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week

The Joke

More Parrots. A lady tells her pastor, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What's that?" he asked. "They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Wanna have some fun?'" The priest said, "That's obscene ... but I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male parrots, Francis and Peter. I've taught them to pray and read the Bible. Bring your parrots over to my house, and we'll put them all in the cage together. My parrots can teach yours to praise and worship, and yours are sure to stop saying ... that phrase." "Thanks," she said, "It might work." The next day she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and put her parrots in with them. The female parrots soon cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Wanna have some fun?" There was stunned silence. Then one male parrot looked over at the other and said, "Put away the beads, Pete. Our prayers have been answered!"

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American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
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