
	Friday Fax A Weekly Summary of Polywater^® News of Incredible Importance

Issue #446

You can be a secret agent selling SPY Lube.

Secret Agent for SPY

Admit it. You've always wanted to be a suave secret agent, leading a double life. You became a smooth sales agent instead, working double shifts. Now you can be both ... sort of. You can be a sales agent for APC's new SPY Lube. As you know from earlier briefings, SPY Lube is a secret formula utilizing stealth lubrication technology. It is produced in the USA at an undisclosed location where batches are shaken, not stirred. Its secret lubricating agents sneak into conduits via application methods (spray or wipe) the competition has yet to master. It does its job with no mess and disappears virtually undetected. SPY Lube is a highly efficient friction killer. You are to conduct covert ops deep inside enemy distribution centers, where you'll plant product samples and propaganda, and then extract sales. You will neutralize any competitive opposition you encounter. Extreme lube prejudice is authorized. Your standard payment for this mission has been doubled. We repeat: Double Commissions on SPY Lube through June 30, 2007.

To assist your actions, your handlers have placed eyes-only SPY Lube adverts in EC&M's print magazine and electronic newswire. Company intelligence officers will infiltrate numerous regional and national trade shows on your behalf. Free 6-ounce spray samples are at your disposal. If you prefer not to conceal and carry, incite targets to place their own Sample Order. SPY Lube is also designated as the A-D Product-of-the-Month for June. Make arrangements early to optimize that resource. Classification of SPY Lube as the official pulling lubricant for Casino Royale was sought from Sony Pictures, with no response yet; proceed with due caution in that regard. Finally, James Bond^® DVDs will be issued for hi-def surveilling pleasure to the top five producing agents in the period. The contest is based on the greatest number of orders rather than dollars sold, so small agencies have equal opportunity. You may commence operations immediately. If you or any of your team should fail, APC will disavow ... uh ... well, just don't.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week

The Joke

Smart Dog. A lady takes her old dog on safari in Africa. One day the dog is off chasing butterflies and gets lost. Wandering about, he sees a leopard coming at him, looking hungry. The old dog thinks, "I'm in trouble now!" Noticing some bones nearby, he quickly lays down to chew them with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog says loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack and slinks away into the trees, saying, "That was close! That dog nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who'd watched the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can use his knowledge and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old dog sees him chasing after the leopard and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Monkey, hop on my back and watch what happens to that conniving canine!" The dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What do I do now?", but instead of running, he sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they're close enough to hear, he says. "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

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American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
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