
	Friday Fax A Weekly Summary of Polywater^® News of Incredible Importance

Issue #427

SpliceMaster^® Cable Cleaners

A common problem with cable cleaners is bad odor, which is why customers consider it a critical criterion in choosing a solvent. One especially notable product you compete against is CRC's Cable Clean^® RD^™, which contains perchloroethane--a known carcinogen--and is described in their own MSDS as having an "irritating odor." Comments from APC's lab analysis (admittedly biased) go a bit further: "This solvent smells so bad they should change the name from RD to BO ... it's an outrage, an abomination, a crime against nature, I feel so violated ... it singed my nose hair and burnt my olfactory to the ground." While RD is effective and cheap, you can defeat it by offering a number of SpliceMaster^® Cable Cleaning Solvent options, all of which smell less offensive than RD to one degree or another, and none of which rot users' internal organs (noncarcinogenic). Never turn away from a potential cable cleaner sale because of price. Odor and toxicity are just two examples of how you can overcome low-price obstacles with SpliceMaster^® Cleaners.

APC Goes Bowling

APC recently held yet another team-building exercise: Bowling. There are no pictures of the carnage, only a final body count. Team "Thunder, Lightning and Reign" (Sharon "Lightning" Hindahl, Wade "Thunder" LeVander, & Chris "Reign" Jonnes) stormed to a 1st-place finish with an average score of 122/round, reigning on the parade of the distant 2nd-place "Lab Rats" team (Ron "Twinkle Toes" Raedeke, Sheri "Comeback Kid" Dahlke, Erik "The Barbarian" Freyser, & Christine "Blue Balls" Otam), at 111/round. Barely worth mentioning is the effort of teams "Go Big or Go Home" (Lea "Big Time" Moore, John "The Gutters Have Magnets!" Fee, Dave "My Trick Knee Has a Hernia" Schumacher, & Tom "What, No Bumpers?" Fredericks), which went home with 109/round; and "El Tres Amigos" (Charlie "El Burro" Cole, Win "Amigo Dos" Miller, & Alfredo "Amigo Tres" Amieva") at 108/round. Top individual performances were Charlie "El Burro" Cole with the high game score (164) and Erik "The Barbarian" Freyser with the high average score (135). Erik then muttered that El Burro was "an ass." So much for team building.

The Friday Fax Editor's Joke of the Week

The Joke

Pregnant Turkey. One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is (yes, she's blonde), my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen and inserted it into the turkey, and then re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Good God, Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

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American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
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