Friday Fax
A Weekly Summary of Polywater® News of Incredible Importance
Issue #423

Top Reasons to Vote for Polywater® in an Election Year


In politically charged times such as these, with voting issues on the minds of all customers as we near the mid-term elections, it's critical that we position our products to appeal to the majority.   As you campaign for distributor support, consider adding these pledges to your sales filibuster.   Distributors in both "blue states" and "red states" will surely elect to stock Polywater Lubricant when they realize that ... (drum roll, please)

APC issues new Distributor Price Schedule effective 11-15-06.
          
  1. Though extremely slippery, it has no political ambitions.
  2. It's packaged in environmentally friendly 25% "post-consumer-resin" plastic.
  3. It comes in many bi-partisan colors, sizes, and genders.
  4. It's politically correct, or incorrect, depending on your customer's preference.
  5. It ships internationally via slow boat to China, not swift boat.
  6. It has cable manufacturer approvals, meets IEEE Standard P1210, and passes the "Global Test."
  7. With Polywater and CableFree you can safely claim, "I actually did lubricate the cable as it was pulled in before I lubricated it as it was pulled out."
  8. While recognized as the industry leader worldwide, Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones have never heard of it.
  9. It is the best lubricant available, regardless of what the definition of the word "is" is.
  10. Company President John Fee: 25 years of service.   Zero interns.

All special quotes should be reviewed and increased where possible.
          
  1. It's available in wide-mouth pails, but has no lips to read.
  2. It stands firmly opposed to aborting late-term cable pulls.
  3. At the factory, Polywater is fed through gate valves affectionately referred to as "watergates."
  4. It has been used in construction at the White House and Pentagon, but not in the Kremlin or Tora Bora.
  5. It's available in many exotic formulations, such as WPJ-640 and WNB-640, but not WMD-640.
  6. Polywater Lubricants: a thousand points of lubrication in every drop.
  7. Our two Vice Presidents have never shot anyone, accidently or otherwise ... as far as we know ... yet.
  8. The Pull-Planner Software's paperless instruction manual is embedded in the program.   No pages to email.
  9. At APC, mudslinging and the politics of personal destruction are considered “beyond the pail.”
  10. Sales to the Axis of Evil: zero.

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Copyright © 2006 American Polywater Corporation -- Issue Date: 10/20/06

American Polywater Corporation -- The world's leading manufacturer of cable pulling lubricants, cable cleaners, and MRO & construction chemicals.
P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
1-(651) 430-2270 (Voice) | 1-(651) 430-3634 (Fax)
1-(800) 328-9384 (Toll-Free US/Canada Only)