Mr. and Mrs. Ed Ensor

In medieval Wales, a bard was a professional poet, often hired to travel the countryside, singing the praises of the local lord--or to swing a mercenary sword, if need be.   In modern Wisconsin the minstrel profession is epitomized by Ed Ensor of the Utility Sales Associates troupe, who travels the Badger State singing the praises of APC and other manufacturers, occasionally hacking pesky competitors to small bits.   On a recent journey Ed trekked to the far corners of Cheeseland, visiting 18 small utilities, meeting over 250 line personnel, and demonstrating his nobleman's many fine products--especially Rubber Goods Cleaner and BonDuit® Conduit Adhesive.   The sweet sound of Ed's voice and the rhythmic pentameter of his words lulled his audiences into a blissful state, where orders and approvals were gathered as easily as picking low-hanging fruit from the King's orchard.   Lord David of Stillwater is happy indeed, but wants more swords at his roundtable.   Word has issued forth across the realm: if you're like Ed and "Have harp, will travel," please call the castle in Minnesota for the proper lyrics to sing.

The Friday Fax Editor gets snotty.   In last week's article on the genetic superiority of new Polywater® SP Spray Lubricant we advised reps to, "Grab your sales atlatl and hit the field."   This generated many questions about the term atlatl.   "What part of the anatomy is that?   Is that a misspelling?   "Is the writer an idiot?"   Et cetera.   Apparently a few of our agents slept through anthropology class.   An atlatl was a prehistoric tool used to improve spear-throwing velocity and accuracy.   Rather than say "Grab your sales tools ..." to sell this highly evolved new lubricant, we substituted the word "atlatl" to be consistent with the caveman-evolution theme.   We'd like to introduce those of you who complained to another useful tool; it's called a "dictionary."   To look up atlatl, just be sure you've got an edition published sometime after 55,000 BC.

The Joke

Joke of the Week:   A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.   Suddenly, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him the next day at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight.   Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m."   He left the note where he knew she would find it.   The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and he had missed his flight.   Furious, he was about to confront his wife and see why she hadn't awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.   The paper said, "It's 5:00 a.m.   Wake up."

P.O. Box 53 | Stillwater, MN 55082 USA
1-(651) 430-2270 (Voice) | 1-(651) 430-3634 (Fax)
1-(800) 328-9384 (Toll-Free US/Canada Only)